Turning ashes into diamonds is to ensure that the grieving person gets comforted and feels close to the departed loved one. It can be quite hard to say the right thing to someone who is grieving. Even if you mean well, the words that you use or have come across might be different when they get out of your mouth. To help in comforting a person who is grieving, you should avoid using the below:
When someone is grieving, they are likely to hear empty clichés such as you should worry, your loved one is in a better place at the moment, or when your time comes, there is nothing you can do. Nobody feels better by hearing such statements and they are not validated or understood.
Allow me to know if there is anything you need
The majority of friends will end up saying: You should allow me to know if there is anything that you need. The real situation is that most grieving folks will not respond to such an offer as they are hesitant in asking for help or since they might quite be tired or even overwhelmed in thinking of things which they might require to assist them.
You are strong
It isn’t strength it is the shock. You might look like you are strong and doing okay but that is not the case.
Any sentence that starts with …at least
Whenever you use “at least” it means that you are trying to tell someone the way they need to think about it. But the truth is that you do not have a right to do exactly that, as grief is personal and private.
It is where people are stuck at times, thinking that it is up to them to fix it. Be reminded that, as a supporter, your job is not to fix anything. You need to stay with them through it all.
It might have been for the best
It isn’t helpful for someone who is grieving to hear that losing a loved one is something that has happened for their good. Even if you have gone through a loss in the past, you don’t know how others are experiencing it. It is a statement that might end up complicating the process of healing. Instead, you should ask the way you can help – how might I help? It is what communicates the care but you shouldn’t assume you know what the best situation for them is.
I do understand
Unless you are sure that you have been through it yourself, you shouldn’t presume that you understand. Even a pet dying can be a deep loss for someone else.
I mean I understand that it is a sad thing to happen but I don’t see why you should be upset
It is a time that is quite crazy and you might feel very sad about the death of someone- even if you weren’t very close to them or they were not part of your day-to-day living. But everyone is entitled to how they feel. You don’t have to make them feel as if they are not just because you don’t understand.